Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Funny Faces.

Funny Faces
Since my brothers first Halloween 31 years ago, the first Saturday of October my dad places three homemade Halloween decorations in the three front windows of our house (top left of the picture).  There are two pumpkins, and a ghost which goes in the middle of the three windows. The three cut outs have always been referred to as the “Funny faces” since the pumpkins and ghost are all smiling. Tradition is very important and I have grown up around it, the funny faces are just one example of my dad’s holiday spirit. Along with Halloween there is the family pumpkin carving and the lovely trip to party city when I was younger to pick out a costume. And while some of these traditions have come to an end, the funny face one was never suppose to go way. Only this year it’s the third week of October, and no funny faces are hanging in the windows in fact they have not even been brought up. I think it’s pathetic that deep down I have not accepted my parents’ divorce, and my dad leaving, but the one thing that makes me know it’s real and something I cannot ignore anymore, is the absence of the happy faces. I just feel like putting them up myself, but it would just feel like another failed attempt and only add to my denial
(I think I was two or three making my brother around 15)

 Once again there are so many worse things in the world, and I’m complaining about the forgotten decorations but it’s just how I feel, and they are symbolic to how I feel at any mention of the word “family or father/ daughter”.  Today I was driving and the song Daughters by John Mayor came on and I cried as I heard the lyrics which is something I never do. (I’m not one to let emotions overcome me easily) Since I can’t explain it in words when people ask what’s wrong I feel like writing is the next best thing
 I promise not all post will be about my parents but for now I feel as if its worthy to write about.

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