Monday, November 1, 2010

Its not over, its never over..

Day three of my dad moving out, he came back to pick up a few more items he left, and the fighting still commences. He yells at me for not putting water in the birdbath, a job I always hated to do since they he is the one who bird watches. How is it fair, he can abandon me, pack up and leave and yet still feel the authority to come to my house and tell me what to do. To me he forfeited that right on Thursday when he left to live a new life without me in it. But of course I’m not allowed to be upset about anything, because my mom says “stop being a brat, or you are not illustrating good behavior when you get angry or upset.” I refuse to be a doormat. I watched my dad get his way for 18 years, because my mom would give up and let him win. 
Therefore my biggest struggle is finding balance between being nice to him even though its not deserved, and going off in an angry fit, because it is deserved. The Bible says “honor thy mother, and father”. It’s one of God’s commandments to his followers, and I honestly think it is the hardest commandment to follow. It’s so difficult for me to respect someone who show’s me none at all. I do know that God would not be pleased with my attitude sometimes towards my dad, but all I can do is pray for strength to be the bigger person, and understand God way’s